Last week I was invited to participate in a juried research fair for undergraduates at York University. I presented my research Between Effort and Result: Gauging the Activities of Environmental Interest Groups on U.S. Foreign Policy, A Case Study of the NRDC. There were a total of 60 young scholars across different disciplines. We were all competing to win our respective categories. I was competing in two categories, 1) Best Upper Year Project, 2) Library Literacy Award. We were being judged on a poster we created summarizing our research and a presentation of our research to the judges.
I had spent the first part of my reading week creating my poster. I must say, it was kick-ass! I got several compliments from the fair committee about the appeal of my poster. This gave me a lot of confidence. Unfortunately for me, I muddled through my presentation about my research, I choked. On reflection, I know I did not express my passion for my research nor did I present my data, methodology and results is a clear succinct manner. I think if I had, I would have had an excellent opportunity to win the award for best upper year project.
However, the day did not disappoint! To my pleasant surprise, I won an honorable mention for the Library Information Literacy Award. The award is given to the project that best exemplifies good practices in library research and information theory.
I am proud of myself. Obviously, I have things to work on, but, for those of you who follow my blog, you know that I am trying to put myself out there and take every opportunity I can get to further my career prospects. I also suffer from a lack of confidence from time to time. I found that when I was presenting my research to the judges, that doubts entered my mind. I didn’t think the judges would be interested in my research- this feeling was reflected in my presentation. Its a valuable lesson for me. If I don’t believe in myself, I won’t reach my goal. I may get close to my goal but getting close isn’t achieving my goal.
I realize that I am my biggest enemy (sometimes). Its a pattern I am in the process of breaking.
Have you ever sabotaged yourself? It would be wonderful to share your story.
Hope your week goes well!